Friday, January 29, 2010

Just wanted to give you all a brief update on how I am doing since the procedure. Surprisingly I am doing quite well. I think the anticipation and anxiety leading up to the procedure really was the most difficult. Knowing what I had to do and the sadness I felt for the baby that was going to be taken. I was filled with shame and guilt and couldn't grasp how someone who longed for a child could do such a thing. I don't know if I will ever fully understand the IP's decision but the fact of the matter is its done and I have moved on. I have prayed for forgiveness and I fully believe in my heart that God has granted me that forgiveness. God knows the person that I am and only he truly knows my soul and I know that he forgives me!! I am not going to dwell on the past and continue to allow this to affect my life and this process. I have moved on and I am exited each and every day for the gift that I am going to be giving to this couple. I have my first appt. with an OB next week so I will let you all know how it goes and post pictures if they give me any:)

Thanks again for those of you who have followed my blog and have given me words of encouragement and kindness.


  1. Thanks for the update. I was wondering what happened since you last wrote. Can't wait to see more pictures. Out of you talk to the IPs or just go through a service?

  2. My IP's are international IP's and I speak with them on a regular basis. Mostly through email. They really are nice people regardless of what I think is a poor choice..They truly are very grateful. You do go through an agency, but you are suppost to speak with them regularly and update them etc. That is why it is best to have a good relationship with them throughout the process. You have to deal with these people for more than nine months due to how long the entire process takes. I want the process to be smooth and comfortable for everyone. It is suppost to be a posative experience for everyone:)

  3. Thanks for sharing. I was just curious.